My parents and the Colstons went to town again. The house was dead silent. Mrs. Colston left me a note. “I’m sorry I cannot be at home today. If I was, I’d show you Sabrina’s things. However, I’m sure you can do that just as well on your own. Use the key I gave you to get into any of the rooms that she had things in. It works on every door. I suggest you do this today as I would like to hear how you feel about it all. Good luck to you, my dear Henry. Signed, Mrs. Colston” It read. I didn’t want to go to Sabrina’s room. I didn’t want painful memories flooding in all day. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around. Gertie stood behind me, looking gaunt. “The missus would like me to remind you to use your key. She sounded very distressed so I suppose it’s important.” I stared at Gertie, horrified. Now Mrs. Colston was getting Gertie to make sure I did this? I shivered and nodded. Gertie studied my face and asked, “Are you quite well, Master Henry? Would you like some tea?” I shook my head and fled up the stairs. I went into my room and grabbed the ornate key. I wanted to get this over with so Gertie and Mrs. Colston would leave me alone about it. I unlocked Sabrina’s door and stepped in. Sabrina’s signature composition paper was stacked neatly on her white desk. Violets were on the windowsill and a dress was laid out on a chair. Love letters for and from me were strewn about her vanity. Her jewelry box was open to display her strands of jewels and pearls. I could almost see her sitting at her desk talking animatedly about something new she’d written. It was enchanting and eerie all at the same time. I wanted to go away but it felt as though I was rooted to my spot. I was lost in memories for a moment.
“Come see, Henry. I’ve written a few poems and even some music. Besides, it’s too foggy for a walk today.” Her voice rang out in the stern house like a bell. She’d grabbed my hand and we’d pored over her poems and original compositions all afternoon. She had a gift and her plan had been to publish her work as soon as she got a bit older. I supported her fully. Again, she whispered, “I’m going to be a big name one day, Henry. People all over the world will be reading my work. Maybe I’ll even be so famous that the public will be reading my writing one hundred years from now! Just think of it, Henry, ‘An Anthology of Poems by Sabrina Colston, no- Sabrina Blair’.” She’d winked at me and I’m sure I blushed. Sabrina was never afraid to say what she thought or felt.
Without thinking, I opened one of the drawers of her desk and found a few sheets of paper. I rifled through them until I found the music she’d written that day. I left the room and carefully locked the door behind me. I headed down the stairs to the music room. I tried to shake my nervousness about going back in there and unlocked that door too. I lit a bunch of candles and sat down at the gleaming piano. I put the music where I could see it and began to play. I was not as good as Sabrina’d been but I played anyway. The tune was lilting and ethereal and filled the room with magic. I finished with the last beautiful measure and looked over the music again. I was surprised to see it was called, “Henry and Me.” I choked back tears and put the cover back on the piano. I suddenly had the eerie feeling that I was being watched and turned around. Gertie and one of the stable boys I’d seen were standing in the doorway. They both glanced at each other and composed their surprised faces.
“That was beautiful Master Henry.” said Gertie. The boy nodded in agreement although he looked at me with cold eyes. I muttered what I hoped sounded like a thank you and they turned around and left. I could hear them arguing softly as they went down the hall.
“Joel, why did you insist on watching him play?? Now he’ll be suspicious of us.” Gertie spat.
“Now, Aunt Gertie, don’t worry. I’ve got it all planned out.” The stable boy that must’ve been Joel replied. The way he said this worried me. I shuddered and again, went to the old ballroom. Sabrina’s journals were no longer littering the floor. Instead, they were chronologically lined up on a massive shelf. I randomly picked up the one for the year of 1846. I flipped open to about the middle of the journal and read that day’s entry.
February 15, 1846
Journal-
Yesterday was one of the best days of my life. It started when mother came in to wake me up. It was abnormally sunny for a February day in New Hampshire. She gave me a kiss and wished me a happy Valentine’s Day. I followed her down to breakfast, forgetting that I was still in my nightgown. When I sat down to breakfast, dear Henry looked highly scandalized and Father was extremely angry. Before I could get up and change, we were served heart shaped biscuits and pink tea. I almost laughed at the absurdity of the situation. However, neither my parents nor the Blairs said anything about it and I got to eat breakfast in my nightgown. After we were finished, I rushed upstairs, blushing and dressed in the prettiest day dress that I had. As I was brushing my hair, a knock sounded at the door. I opened it and saw Henry looking sheepish.
He asked timidly, “Sabrina, would you like to come take a walk with me? And would you permit me to paint a picture of you?” I smiled with delight and nodded.
The day was lovely and Henry had me sit in a gorgeous meadow full of flowers and sunlight. He painted me with finesse and looked at me with adoration in his clear blue eyes. I have never felt so loved, nor have I loved someone so much. My heart skipped a few beats and I felt as though I were in heaven. When Henry had at last finished the portrait he picked me a bouquet of violets, which he knows are my favorite and tucked a wood lilly behind my ear. He wouldn’t show me the painting though, no matter how much I asked. He said it was to be a Valentine’s Day surprise. All afternoon, we frolicked though the pretty little meadow until we heard Gertie call us to supper. Before we left though-and I can’t believe I did this- I kissed him. We stared at each other for a moment after and then ran to the house, laughing like giddy children. After the great ordeal of supper had ended, he took me into the music room and unveiled the painting. Henry had made me look so beautiful and angelic and the attention to every little detail in the scene was astounding.
“Thank you, Henry.” I whispered.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, lovely Sabrina.” Henry replied. We both went up the creaking stairs and each went our separate ways. I don’t know what Henry dreamed about that night but I dreamed we were dancing in the meadow.
I remembered that day well. It was the day I had first realized that Sabrina loved me. I smiled and put the journal back on the shelf. Suddenly, I heard, “Henry, love. Help me, Henry.”
“Who’s there?” I shouted into the quiet room. No answer bounced off of the rich mahogany walls. I slid the journal back into its place and left the ballroom. Shivers crept down my spine continuously and I felt dizzy as I climbed the stairs to go back into my room. Just as I opened my door, I heard the carriage coming up the drive. I felt almost relieved.

Sabrina
***
I try
I’m so weak
I can’t break through
The walls dividing us

I’m so weak
My energy is wasted
The walls dividing us
Seem to be killing him softly

My energy is wasted
I can’t break through
Seem to be killing him softly
I try