Ailin came back that evening looking depressed and gaunt. He stumbled into the cottage and I ran to his out stretched arms. He embraced me long and hard and then finally held me at a distance. He half whispered, “Keela lass, where have you been? I’ve been searching for you since I came back yesterday afternoon.” I gulped. I hadn’t known that he would come back early. I murmured, “I’m so so sorry Ailin. I didn’t know that you would come back early and I didn’t know it would take me so long to get there and back and I got lost and… and….” He quieted my babbling with a quick brush of his lips on mine. “It’s alright Keela lass. I’ve been gone a lot and I should’ve known you would’ve gotten bored. We’ll talk more after we eat.” I smiled but then realized that the stew had been on the fire for two days! I peered into the pot and saw a gray gooey mess. But, Ailin must have known because he was already setting bread and goat cheese on the table. I fell into my chair and wolfed it down. Ailin ate his the same way. When he was finished, he leaned back and asked, “Where did you end up going Keela?” I answered quickly, “There’s a cliff a little ways from the cottage so I got it into my head to climb down and see the beach at the bottom. It took me all morning to get to the little beach and then I swam with one of my sisters. I left soon after and didn’t get to the top until it was dark. In the dark, I didn’t know where I was so I finally found my way to your boat and slept there.” Ailin looked panic stricken for a moment but smiled quickly to cover it up. Then he sprang up and ran into the bedroom. He came out holding a fiddle and a bow. “You can play??” I questioned.
“Yes I do but I haven’t really felt the need or the wanting to play until now.” He rosined the fine horse hairs of his bow and then quietly plucked the strings. Then he drew the bow across them. This produced a lovely sound that was high and low and happy and sad and quiet but somehow very loud. It was unlike anything else I’d ever heard before. Then, he really started playing. His bow was a blur and his fingers danced wildly on the fingerboard. The tune lilted up and down randomly and it was irresistible for me. I stood up and began to dance. I jumped, twisted, stomped and twirled until he finished. I smiled and tried to catch my breath. He put his violin back in the bedroom and then sat on his chair. He fell asleep quickly. I crawled into the bed and gazed out into the moonless sky. The stars shone weakly and I could hear the sea muttering to itself quietly. I knew that it had probably been a month since that fateful night on the beach. My sisters might be human as I lay in bed thinking and I would never even know. I bolted upright for fear of missing my sisters and ran outside. It was dark but I knew the way from my home to the beach. I crouched down on the top of the hill and sure enough, Dubheasa and Allana sat on the sand whispering quietly. A few others were milling around the beach aimlessly. I walked down the hill as slowly and as quietly as possible and tapped Allana’s damp shoulder. She turned around and her eyes widened and a huge smile lit her slender face. Dubheasa turned and glared. Something inside of me broke but I kept smiling. “Aurnia, hello!! We’ve missed you! You’re coming home soon right? It’ll be birthing night soon and we have to be there to help the babies.” My smile faded. “Allana, it might be a while before I come back.” Her smile disappeared as well. “But Aurnia, you promised that you’d teach me how to spin when I jump. I might never learn and Dubheasa is too grumpy to teach me!! Plus, Alphonsus is thinking of taking us somewhere else where there are no people.” My world spiraled out of control. I had counted on my sisters being here waiting for me to find my skin. But then again, Allana did exaggerate a lot so maybe, she was exaggerating now. I shakily exhaled and Allana frowned. “You know, as soon as you woke up the morning after he took you, you should’ve been searching for your pelt. Now we may never see you again. I’ll try to convince Alphonsus to let us stay until you find it. I also think it’s strange that you’ve fallen in love with him, but, it’s not my business.” I couldn’t believe what sweet Allana was saying. She sounded just like Dubheasa. Rage bubbled up inside of me. I forced it down but then I saw my sisters exchange a meaningful look and a snicker. That put me over the edge. “I can not believe you two!! We are a family! We are supposed to support each other! Do you think I wanted all of this to happen to me?!?! You know that if one of you two were in my position I’d stand by you and support you all the way. But I’m going to be the bigger person here and leave you to your silly games.” My voice broke at the end and I gave them the hardest look I could muster and then a sob exploded from my mouth. My sisters looked genuinely shocked. I turned around and trotted back up the hill. My shoulders heaved and the wind gently caressed my cheeks, trying to dry my tears. It died down after a futile attempt at doing so. I had never thought this would make my sisters angry at me. I should have been more careful that night. But, if I hadn’t, I never would’ve met Ailin. I ran blindly in the dark but found my way back to the cottage. I collapsed on my bed and cried myself to sleep.
Ailin let me sleep in but, I woke up feeling empty inside.. He must’ve been able to tell I’d had a late and ruthless night. Ailin looked extremely concerned. I tried to smile but then it quickly vanished as I fell deeper and deeper into my own black pit of despair. My sisters were angry and were ganging up on me and the rest of the Selkies might not ever return to the island. Ailin opened his mouth as if to say something and then closed it. I got up and the cottage whirled around me. I couldn’t live like this anymore. I loved Ailin but I was trapped here on the land. I shivered and collapsed into my chair. My thoughts still raced. Why couldn’t my sisters have been happy for me? If this is how it will go then I don’t need them. This last thought made my breathing become ragged and all I could think about was the glinting sea just out of reach. Ailin said something but I couldn’t hear him clearly. It was like listening to him speak through a wall. It was muffled. He said it again and finally I could hear again. “Keela love what’s wrong? You need to tell me. I don’t want you pining. It may break my heart and I hope you’ll feel something but I just want you to be happy.” I shook my head and he looked relieved. Black dots swam in my vision and then I slumped in my chair.
***
He stared unbelieving at the crumpled heap that was Keela. What had happened that had made her do this? When he had woken up, Keela had been in bed, her faced pinched with worry even in her sleep. He had thought it may have been a bad dream so he’d let her sleep in. This had to be far more serious than a nightmare. He paced the floor and finally came to his senses and forced some beer down her throat. His mother had done the same when he was young whenever he had a fever. Keela stirred and murmured. He grinned at her and determined he would ask her what happened when she felt better.
***
A few hours later my depression was gone and I was just happy my little spell was over. Ailin tread lightly around the house and seemed afraid that if I had to lift a finger it would come back. He made potato soup from his own garden. It was very different from his famous mutton stew as it had many more savory potatoes and was seasoned differently. I ate quietly but Ailin rambled on about the weather, gossip he’d heard in town, anything but the sea. Then finally he asked, “What happened to you Keela?” I dropped my spoon on the table and thought about how to tell him without upsetting him too much. “Ailin, it’s been a month since you captured me and my pelt.” He winced. I continued, “I knew my sisters would coast so last night I went down to the beach. They were there but they were angry at me and hurt my feelings. I was extremely sad because my sisters are mad at me and….” I trailed off. He nodded and said nothing of it for the rest of the night.
The next morning I woke up humming the song that had woven itself into my dreams. Ailin was letting the sheep out and milking the goat. I sang to myself and cut up some carrots and potatoes for whatever meal we would make later today. It was cloudy outside and the breeze that came through the window chilled me to the bone. I put on my white dress and draped a warm brown shawl around my shoulders. Ailin rushed into the cottage shivering violently. He put a coat on and listened to the song that I still sang. Then he brought his violin out and played the same soothing song I had just been singing. I laughed with surprise. “We’ll call it Keela’s song.” He put his violin down and then came over and chucked my chin. “You know love, for these past few weeks I haven’t only been fishing. I have a surprise for you!!” I smiled thinking it was a pretty piece of jewelry. He tied one of my aprons around my head to make a sort of blind fold. He led me out of the cottage and into the howling wind. We journeyed until I felt the violent rocking of the boat underneath my feet. I gingerly sat down. The waves were very rough and my heart raced, fearing that the waves would be the killer ones from my horrible dream. Before long, the boat scraped the land and I stepped out of the boat. We trudged up a steep slope and then, he took the apron off. In front of me was a pretty white washed cottage with an empty flower bed in front of it. It was the cottage I had imagined the day Ailin had proposed to me. I clapped my hands with glee. Ailin gestured at the door and I stumbled inside. I immediately was in a little room with a stove and a large table. There were drawers on one of the walls containing spices among other things. There was a doorway which led to a bedroom with a big window overlooking the sea. Giddily, I opened the dresser and was surprised to find three beautifully made dresses. I carefully closed the drawer containing them and spotted another doorway. This was also a small bedroom. There was one final doorway leading to a little room with two chairs in it. This room had a huge window that took up most of the wall covered in glass. I knew that even a small amount of glass costed an arm and a leg. I noticed a rectangular outline on the opposite wall. Suddenly, spun me around and said, “That’s a secret doorway into the kitchen. Do you like it?” I giggled and replied, “Ailin, I love it!!! Thank you so much! Why did you do this? It must’ve cost you a fortune!!” Ailin smirked and mumbled, “That’s my little secret.” I hugged him. He continued, “We come here as much as you’d like. We could even live here if I sold the house and built a new barn or shed. It’ll take a while but it’ll be much better than living in that other tiny thing.”
“Oh Ailin let’s live here!! You don’t even have to sell the old one in case you go into town and it’s stormy and you can’t make it back.” He nodded thoughtfully. I threw my arms around him again.